Yesterday I heard an NPR news report about the sentencing of the 94 year old ex-Auschwitz guard, Oskar Groening, to four years of prison after a Lueneburg court found him guilty as accessory to 300,000 murders.” He was the first person charged who was not part of the physical side of mass murder” (Associated Press article, “Accontant of Auschwitz Took Cash, Valuables” by David Rising) The case also received a lot of attention because of the behavior of a holocaust survivor, Eva Kor. Her Auschwitz history includes, along with her twin sister, being the subject of deadly lab experiments which may have resulted in or contributed to death of her twin sister Miriam. ( For more information on Ms. Kor the reader can go to wwwcondles,holocaustmuseum.org/about/eva-kor.htm).
According to an article in the Guardian (guardian.com, May 1, 2015) by Marina Cantacuzino entitled “Forgiving the Nazis is incomprehensible – but it has saved one survivor’s life”, Ms. Kor “I refuse to be a victim. Society is bent on nurturing victimhood.” Ms. Cantacuzino also quotes Ms. Kor as saying, “The day I forgave the Nazis, privately I forgave my parents whom I hated all my life for not having saved me from Auschwitz. Children expect their parents to protect them: mine couldn’t. And then I forgave myself or hating my parents.” Ms. Cantacuzino goes on to say that “Her (Ms. Kor’s) statement sums up the intricate nature of forgiveness: it can ensure the pain of the past does not dictate the future.”
I think it was in the NPR interview that I heard Ms. Kor say that she was glad that he was convicted, but did not think he should go to jail. She suggested he do community service such as teaching children about how one comes to fall into the trap of becoming a part of something like the Nazi horror.
At the trial she did go up to Mr. Groening who reached out to embrace her and give her a kiss which she graciously accepted.
Ms. Kor has been criticized by other survivors “by her publicly forgiving the worst crime known to humanity, but also, I suspect by the largely positive media attention that her actions have received….”As such many feel angry that Kor has hijacked what could potentially be the last chance to see some degree of justice and accountability for those most affected.” (article by Ms. Cantacuzino)
My understanding is that Ms. Kor has been very clear that we must all be accountable for what we do. In her statement on forgiveness she is clear that she has to admit that she blamed her parents for not keeping her from the horrors of Auschwitz. She believed that she had to accountable for her hate, but she also believed that she needed to forgive herself for that hate. In recommending community service for Mr. Groening she is suggesting a way for him to use his experience as a way of helping to prevent future holocausts. In other places she has been quoted as saying it is time to end the trials.
This is yet another example of the confusion that most of we humans have about forgiveness, accountability and justice. We seem to have a need to believe that punishment brings justice and yet, there is nothing in recorded history which suggests to me that punishment brings justice. My studies do suggest that lovingly allowing for accountability does allow for possibility of justice. In this case perhaps another word for justice is reconciliation. It would seem to be that the goal is to prevent future such harm from being inflicted.
I was thinking about this concept when I read another articles in the St. Petersburg Tribune of July 16, 2015 (page 1 of Metro section). The headline read, “Teachers urged to follow new discipline guidelines”. It went on to say that fewer suspensions and better graduation rates are the goal. At first I was confused by the use of the word discipline. When I hear this word I immediately think of the primary Marian Webster definition of punishment. As I read the article the goal of the new policy is to find out what is going on with the child to causes him or her to be tardy or behave inappropriately and to find a way to help the child learn new ways of behaving. In my mind the new policy is one which is advocating a transition from disciplining/punishment to teaching. We cannot expect a child (or an adult) to change their behavior if one does not know what is going on with the child. If the child just has an habit of giving up or diverting attention by being the class clown, then it is important for the child to learn that he/she can succeed. Punishing them just reinforced the reason they gave up in the first place.
There will, I am sure, be some opposition to the new school policy in the Tampa area public schools just as there is opposition to the forgiveness behavior of Ms. Kor. Perhaps it is “normal” for we humans to want to hurt those who hurt us and if we cannot hurt them we want to hurt others. I recall very clearly, the severe hazing of underclassmen (then all men) at the U. S. Naval Academy and how terrible it felt. Yet, the those same underclassmen could not wait until they could treat the next group of underclassmen exactly the same. I understand that some of this “hazing” which passed for teaching has changed just as the fact that it is no longer an all male institution.
Having said that, I think it is incumbent upon those of us in the mental health or helping professions including educators to consider the possibility that teaching new behavior is more effective than punishing inappropriate or hurtful behavior.
I also think that in order to want revenge or to punish we have to have gained the ability to disconnect our own humanness from the humanness of others. We have to “forget” the extent to which we can hurt others. Perhaps we never hurt anyone on a wide scale, but we have all hurt others. In exploring such historical events as the Holocaust we have to come to terms with the fact that, as is always true about all events, the Holocaust did not happen in a vacuum. The allies treated the German very badly- punished them- following World War I. Did this help set the stage for the Holocause? Why did health care professionals play such an essential role in all stages of the Holocause? (Read Jay Liftton’s book, The Nazi Doctors). How do very good people end up being a part of something cruel and oppressive?
Ms. Kor reminded us that forgiveness is for us. It gives us our life back. If we live our life as an angry victim we will not only be miserable but we will promote more of the hate which we feel we are such a victim of.
Robert Enright’s book, Forgiveness is a choice: A Step-by-Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope is an excellent book, the reading of which can help open the doors of one’s mind on this subject.
Hats off to Ms. Kor. Hats off to Mr. Groening for having the courage to say he is sorry and then offering Ms. Kor an embrace. Hats off to the officials of the Tampa school district for their courageous move to teach instead of punish. Hats off to each of us each time we have the courage to admit that we too, by omission and commission, are often hurtful to others .
For those who identify with the Jewish faith, the term forgiveness might not resonate. Repair is a terms often used by those of that faith. For those who identify with the Muslim faith, mercy might be a more familiar terms. I am reminded of what Rami Nashashibi said in an interview, “If one wants to explore evil, our faith tells us that we much must first look inside ourselves. We seek refuse in Allah from the evil of our own selves.” This is what many Muslims would term mercy.
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